a very special day for my best

yeeeey! it's my bestriend's birthday! Happy Happy Birthday Best! Thanks be to God for giving you another year of life. Continue to grow by His Grace and be a blessings to everyone. May all your wishes come true and I hope you enjoy this very special day., God set this date just for you.

Please forgive me for all my shortcomings, for hurting you. I wish you happiness today no matter what, even if you're angry with me. I love you.muaah.

the BIRTHDAY celebrant..:)

Highschool Friends Get-together (10 years later)

The Papables :))

The Gorgeous Ladies :D

all so grown-up but still very makulit..:P

it's cold but I want to have a picture in the water..hehe

 ....and this is me just loving and enjoying the night..:)

Love works in nonsense way...and sometimes it hurts..

when you love be ready for the possibilities of so many disappointments, especially if that person does not feel the same way..

but no matter how disappointed I am, I can't feel anger towards him and I hate myself for that...
as a matter of fact I think I am becoming used to disappointments when it comes to him. why I can't just be angry and forget my feelings?

is this the thing called KARMA? now I understand how they feels.. but can you blame me? that person is the reason why I ignored them...
I first like him, I like him even before I started to know what liking means..I just did and I can't understand.. and I still have no idea why I still like him.. for so many years I'm still clueless..

I always ask myself..bakit nga ba gusto ko sya? dahil matalino? marami namang matalino..Mabait? maraming mas mabait na pahahalagahan ako.. good looking? he's good looking pero di yun qualification para sakin..at kahit pumangit pa sya gugustohin ko parin sya, so bakit nga ba? 

I'm just worst when it comes to this matter...I started when I was 14 years old..and I'm already 27 and still liking just one person without any justification in my mind, he doesn't even care and maybe never noticed...

Truly LOVE works in nonsense way...and love hurts.:(

But doesn't 13 years enough?  I'm hurting for so long, I want to forget him!
Should I accept help from others? can't I really forget my feelings without giving my attention to others.. hmmm hard! God help me please., it's really hard.

Birthday sentiment...

I was lying in my bed ready to sleep but I feel like I have to voice it out. The emotion that I'm keeping this past few days. I am hurting right now. I am trying to forget it but I can't. It started when I celebrated my 27th birthday on November 5, he happens to forget it or intentionally did not greet me. You see I like him so much that I never forgot his bday even when we still don't see each other I still remember his birthday. 

We used to not greeting each other, because we were not friends before, but this year I expected to be different. I greeted him on his birthday last month.. I thought he will atleast take an effort to greet me but I was disappointed. Right now I'm thinking maybe he already knew about my feelings and now he is giving me a sign the he really doesn't like me. Well it's pretty good sign and now I already get it. I think I should move on, I will never chase him if that's what he thinks. 

I am hurting in one part but I can still make myself happy with other parts. 

Life must go on. There's so much to be happy.

Love is not a coincidence

Because of My Heart

 I don’t understand

Why it must be you to be the one in my heart

I have met many people

But it must be you eventually who are in my heart

Love is not a coincidence

Love can connect you with me

There’s only the heart that knows

Who is the one in my dream

You’re the one that i’ve been waiting

Because the heart is begging

Cause the heart is calling for

Born to be your forever

It’s because my heart never confused

It’s certain that you are the only one

There are not many reasons

It just because my heart chooses you..

~Crazy Little Thing Called Love~

:: it's been more than a decade but my heart does not change...I'm still waiting, waiting patiently with faith... cause no matter how I tried to forget you, still my heart can only recognize one person, it's only you for almost half of my life...


So happy that after 10 years we met again,  I will not confess my love to you, but I'll try to make you feel how important you are to me.

My First Love Perfume

I never found a cologne that would make me want it badly until I smell  the Bella Belara Eau de Parfum.

I tried different colognes but my interest to any cologne always doesn't last. And I rarely wear one because everytime I do, I feel dizzy. My sense of smell is very sensitive. I hate my brother everytime he sprays his cologne every morning, my head feels heavy that I would collapse anytime.

This morning one of my officemates was selling perfume. I was really not interested to buy until I smell this sweet scent, that is very tempting and makes me crave to smell more. The smell makess me feel happy and I can't help but smile unconsciously. I feel kilig or inlove. This perfume smells good, light, sweet and addicting. So as expected base on my reaction, I bought it without hesitation. I also can't believe myself but I think I found my first love perfume. Bella Belara makes me fall inlove with her (let's just imagine she's a girl..haha) :D

This perfume was described as:

"For the Optimistic Life-Lover. Give her an exuberant floral fruity that is more than just a fragrance - it’s a beautiful feeling."

I think it is really for me, it fits my personality as a very optimistic person, with unbelievably positive perspective in life.
So let's smell good and hope to brighten up someone's life! :D

One Friend

Best thank you for everything you've done for me. You were always there, supporting and loving me but I took you for granted. I want you to know that I really appreciate you, and your efforts. I am sorry for disappointing and hurting you. Take care and I hope you'll always be happy.

How long should I wait?

This morning I was feeling good, I keep smiling, and I laugh a lot. Everything is great, I am so happy. Yes, I am a cheerful person, optimistic, hopeful and I enjoy life but these past few days I am much happier than usual. The reason for the extra happines was because we texted last Thursday, yeah it's a big thing for me because the person I am talking was my first love and I am waiting for him for more than a decade. I fall inlove with him when I was just 14 and next month I will be turning 27, yet still NBSB (No Boyfriend Since Birth).hahaha I never fell in love with another man, I had crushes, I get attracted but never been in love. The worst thing is he has no idea about my feelings and I don't have the courage to tell him.

The last time I saw him was on our highschool graduation, we were not  close to have a communication after that. I saw him again only in social networking site and we exchanged numbers just recently. As I expected he was not initiating to text me, which is understable because we are not that close, we cannot even call ourselves friends and actually I was ignoring him before just to hide my feelings. So I was always the one who initiate to make a conversation, and it takes a lot of courage for me to do that. Sometimes he replies but sometimes not, and last Thursday I was thankful because he replied, we had a conversation, we were teasing and kidding each other and it made me real happy...

But the happiness I was enjoying had been ruined by a quote forwarded by a friend tonight, who happened to be our classmate in highschool and I think she has an idea about my feelings but I never told her, well girls have stong instinct. This is the text message I received:

"Never allow yourself to be treated as nothing by another person whom you valued so much. If there's no sense in waiting, then move on. If you feel you're not valued by that person like you do then let go. That's life! It's about making wise decisions, not about making yourself a foolish one."

Then she said, "stop hoping that you will be noticed by him, Anong Petsa na?"

After reading read these text messages from her, I felt pain and became down. I wanted to scream to ease the heaviness in my heart, I feel like crying, but still I pray to God to make me not give up. I still want to hope that someday he will also notice me. I did everything to improve myself  just to become worth of him and I am thankful to him because of that, all these years he was my inspiration.
I will still wait, and when the time comes that I will decide to stop I'll tell him about my feelings and thank him for everything, then I'll move on, because what I  was always hoping to happen is if ever he starts to notice me it's because he started to like me voluntarily not because I already told him about my feelings.
If God's will, I believe it will happen. I am holding to my faith.